hmmm - that pregnant feeling

10 days to our 6 week scan.. as you can imagine those 10 days couldn't come soon enough..

its all i think about every day!

in the mean time i have started my new medication regime.. DH said to me the other night "i've never known anyone to take a cocktail of drugs before" with my dinner i sit down with a small bowl with 3 wild salmon oil capsules, 2 pregnancy multi-vits, 1.5 low dose asprin and 1 folate tablet! add to that 8 am and 8 pm clexane needles!

the 8am ones are certainly interesting as i do them at work.. i have told my boss so that she doesnt suspect my of slacking off or shooting up! i have had some strange stares in the ladies room thus far!

i do feel pregnant.. i feel alot different to my pregnancy with matilda, the symptoms are totally different and the emotions are totally different - i guess this is to be expected though..

anyway i dont have a whole lot more to report on the topic just yet.. please keep your fingers crossed that our scan in 10 days goes well!

OMG!

geroge isn't due til saturday.. i weed on a stick... TWO lines!!! hurrah....

soooo happy... next 3 weeks are going to be crazy! until we have an ultrasound to check if its viable!

fingers crossed pleaseeeeee everyone...

not feeling it any more...

bleh...

Could it be?

I have no idea what so ever.. In fact I think I feel like I'm ready to give up... Today is 10 days before George is due and 5dpo..

I'm pretty sure our timing was off again this month due to our mutual disappointment over the past few months of trying..

I know my body has given me signs before so I don't trust it or believe the signs..

Signs so far unusual mucous and just as of this afternoon twitches in my abdomen on my left side just behind the top of the hip bone..

Not expecting anything due to mistiming but happy to be surprised oh gret cosmic beings!

I AM NOT TESTING until next Friday!!!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

C25K - Check in

So its been a while since i checked in.. for various reasons.. i am still plodding through week 4 in the running.. i am going to make an effort to get through it by the end of this week.. i have been disheartened by the lack of weight loss and also the lack of a BFP so i have let things slide a bit.. i have been reasonably good on my food choices though.. so i suppose thats a good thing!

anyhow.. this morning i weighed 77.8kg and measured B - 94, W - 99.5 and T - 109cm...

i cant remember how that compares to my lest check in!

until next time

falling apart.. again..

Looks like we are in for another visit from george this month. My world feels like its crashing down around me..

I had a terrible day in the office yesterday - to go with the terrible week.. i was driving home and i thought to myself... wouldnt it be nice if i went home, took a hpt and saw the two lines i want to see sooooo much in the whole world!

so i came home, took the hpt and saw a big fat nought! well i saw one line but that means nothing.. for some reason this month it officially felt a lot worse than all the other months.. perhaps because its been 6 months wince we started trying now?

i told my beau and then i went and layed in bed and had a cry.. my beau came in... i could see that he too had tears in his eyes... why cant i give him the one thing he wants so much?

one of my closest friends is pregnant - i'm so pleased for her and im especially happy that her baby is healthy and safe.. but im so jealous.. i dont want to be.. but i am... i am trying very hard not to be.. but i dont know how to control the jealousy.. *sigh*

today she showed me some designs for how she wants to decorate they nursery... im sure she has no idea how that made me feel... but i did the right thing and commented appropriately..

still.. some days i wish i was a hermit... over the past few months i've been getting my life back on track - a new track to before - but still on track.. yet it seems somehow i've fallen off again!

*sigh*

today i feel sad...

sad that i can't give my beau the baby he so much wants.. he has started asking me more and more if i think we will ever have more kids to add to our family.. yesterday i told him that i was sure we would when the time was right... you know im sick of people telling me that (i mean i know its the truth but it still is the last thing i want to hear) yet i found myself saying that to him...

*sigh*